Saturday, October 30, 2004

Curiouser and Curioser

Is it the full moon? Halloween? The Red Sox? Or this election?

People around the country are acting strangly.

A Georgia man was arrested outside of a polling station after drunkenly yelling while wearing a Bush mask and a Kerry-Edwards t-shirt. Both campaigns quickly came to the man's defense, hoping that they had found that rare species, the even still undecided voter.

Two men were arrested in New York City today for illegally landing a hot air balloon in Central park that read, "Go Kerry." Police investigators believe the message was referring to Presidential hopeful, John.

Meanwhile, several days ago, 58,000 absentee ballots went missing in Florida. In case you were wondering, that's over 100 times the differential the last time around. Katherine Harris was not available for comment as she was busy picking local Democrat Barry Seltzer out of a lineup. Seltzer was arrested for what he called "political expression" and the police labeled "aggravated assault with a deadly weapon", his car.

Meanwhile, professed liberal, Ralph Nader is still running for President drawing earnest crowds of dozens to his box on the streets of Manhattan. He claims four more years of Bush's tax cuts, fiscal irresponsiblity, wars, environmental laxity, and broken syntax are America's plague for not electing him president last time.


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